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2009-10-18
找茬结果 + 写好了.大家来找茬第一篇 - [心路杂谈]
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http://soltyfreedom.blogbus.com/logs/48678712.html
找茬结果
作为应试去学东西一向是一件很悲哀的事情.但更悲哀的是你明知道这是不对的,却又必须迈过这个槛.
还好身边有足够眼界的老朋友和能力足够鄙视这些狗屁考试一千遍的朋友给予帮助和鼓励.
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关于文章意识的东西皎皎作为资深老外帮我矫正意识方面的东西.很受用.
i dont think generating economical income is a good argument for preserving historical buildings, that's just a horrible argument. you should emphasize more on preserving culture, and not the fact that they could bring 20 million bucks. of course you can mention it, but still, just like i said, emphasize on the rich historical background, culture and what these old buildings mean to people.
and the Great Wall is not considered as a 老房子 in this context. the old buildings you are referring to is more like 四合院 or something (well, to me, at least). If not, why not argue for 故宫,颐和园,圆明园? i dont think there a debate to tear those down, rite? to my understanding its just the 四合院s and 胡同s that are at stake.
i dont know if this is the way you were taught to write essays, but you need a clear focus and an argument in the beginning. You dont have a thesis statement, which is the most crucial part of ANY essay, or report or even research papers. You need a clear focus. So in the first paragraph you said that theres a conflict between whether to protect old buildings or to tear them down and build more new commercial buildings, rite?
and after stating benefits for BOTH sides, you concluded with, see, both sides are reasonable. then i dont know what's the point of this essay? you have to at first take a side, and argue FOR just that side.
go work on your thesis statement, then rework the whole thing with the new thesis.感谢够吃大仙儿帮我纠正了很多语法错误.其实很多东西的用法我还是很生疏.
There is a general debate (discussion) nowadays regarding (concerning/about) the urbanization: when it comes to the architectures, some people consider (think/maintain) that traditional buildings should be well protected, while others argue that the opposite is true. They maintain the modern buildings are supposed to be rapidly constructed. One key question for the city planning is how we treat buildings. Admittedly, the views from both sides are reasonable, but they are one-sided.
A large number of people hold an idea that old buildings have a lot of great benefits. To begin with, seeing that the old buildings may represent the local (native) culture and tradition, the authorities concerned should strengthen the protection on them. In addition, another equally indispensable reason is that they are enormous attractions to the visitors from abroad who are interested in cultures and building styles different from theirs. For example, Great Wall is one of the most famous architectures all over the world, which could bring approximate 20 million dollars in a year.
Despite these claims, some people consider that modern buildings also have some merits (advantages) compared with traditional buildings. First and foremost, modern buildings can seat many people who are living in cities and consequently (they are more suitable to development这句不通顺啊~ 主语不明确,如果是要表达现代建筑更适应发展动词可以用adapt to) to some extent. Furthermore, modern buildings adapt to the lifestyles of contemporary people properly. They also play an absolutely necessary (因为你上一段已经用过 indispensable了,是不是最近学了这个词你就疯狂地用啊~ -。-) role in the construction of a city.
With the points listed above, it seems obvious that modern buildings as well as traditional buildings should be developed and both of them could bring tremendous advantages, most convenience and increasing economy.
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写好了.大家来找茬第一篇
Traditional buildings and modern buildings
There is a general debate (discussion) nowadays regarding (concerning/about) the urbanization: when is comes to the architectures, some people consider (think/maintain) that traditional buildings should be well protected, other argue that the opposite is true. They maintain the modern buildings are supposed to be rapidly constructed. One key question for the city planning is how we treat buildings. Admittedly, both sides are reasonable, but they are one-sided.
A large number of people hold an idea that old buildings have a lot of great benefits. To begin with, seeing that the old buildings may represent the local (native) culture and tradition, the authorites concerned should strengthen the protection on them. In addition, another equally indispensable reason is that they are enormous attractions to the visitors from abroad who are interested in cultures and building styles different from theirs. For example, Great Wall is the most famous building all over the world, which could bring approximate 20 million dollars in a year.
Despite these claims, some people consider that modern buildings also have some merits (advantages) compared with traditional buildings. First and foremost, modern buildings can seat much people which is living the city and consequently they to some extent are more suitable to development. Furthermore, modern buildings adapt to the life styles of contemporary people properly. They also play an indispensable role in the construction of a city.
From the points listed above. It seems obvious that modern buildings as well as traditional buildings should be developed and could bring tremendous advantage, most convenience, increasing economy.
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评论
jia you~~~ha ha ~
and the Great Wall is not considered as a 老房子 in this context. the old buildings you are referring to is more like 四合院 or something (well, to me, at least). If not, why not argue for 故宫,颐和园,圆明园? i dont think there a debate to tear those down, rite? to my understanding its just the 四合院s and 胡同s that are at stake.
i dont know if this is the way you were taught to write essays, but you need a clear focus and an argument in the beginning. You dont have a thesis statement, which is the most crucial part of ANY essay, or report or even research papers. You need a clear focus. So in the first paragraph you said that theres a conflict between whether to protect old buildings or to tear them down and build more new commercial buildings, rite?
and after stating benefits for BOTH sides, you concluded with, see, both sides are reasonable. then i dont know what's the point of this essay? you have to at first take a side, and argue FOR just that side.
go work on your thesis statement, then rework the whole thing with the new thesis.